Qtalk: Lesbian wants to work, but her partner objects

LGBTQ+ Nigerians benefit from the support provided by volunteer counsellors via the Qtalk app, which is supported by this site and by the St. Paul’s Foundation for International Reconciliation.

This Qtalk user’s name has been changed in the following writeup, which is one of many contributed by the counsellors who provide advice to LGBTQ+ Nigerians via the free Qtalk app:

Lesbian wants to get a job but her partner doesn’t want her to work

Chioma, a Nigerian lesbian, says her relationship may be coming to an end as her lover is not allowing her to secure a job. In her support request, she wrote:

I love this woman. We have been together for three years and she has done her best to support me through a lot. However, I am starting to feel very uncomfortable, useless, and completely lazy just being at home and doing nothing while she works. We spoke about it, but she doesn’t want me to work. In fact, she has refused to engage in the conversation at all and I swear if things continue to remain the same, I’ll leave the relationship.

In a response to Chioma’s support request, the counselor stated that it was really important to engage her partner in a conversation so as to ascertain what her real concerns and perhaps fears are about why she did not want her to get a job.

Communication in any relationship is very important. The counselor encouraged Chioma to stress this to her partner as well as letting her know how her refusal to listen to her was frustrating her and how it could possibly lead to a breakup. Both partners deserve to listen to each other as everyone’s feelings and concerns are valid in a healthy relationship.

Therapy is still ongoing and Chioma has promised to keep the counselor updated.

This article is one of five that comprise Part 16 of the Qtalk series.

To download the Qtalk mobile app, click HERE.

To support the Qtalk project financially, click HERE.

Written by Mike Daemon

Mike Daemon is the pseudonym of the founder and presenter of the No Strings podcasts, based in Port Harcourt, Nigeria, which provide a voice for the country’s LGBTIQ+ community. Through the No Strings website, he reports on issues affecting the lives of LGBTQ+ Nigerians. He launched and maintains the Qtalk app, which provides safe and private access to legal and psychosocial counseling for LGBTQ+ Nigerians. Contact him by email via info (at) nostringsng.com.

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