Qtalk has advice for gay man who is attracted to a straight friend

LGBTQ+ Nigerians benefit from the support provided by volunteer counsellors via the Qtalk app, which is supported by this site and by the St. Paul’s Foundation for International Reconciliation.

This Qtalk user’s name has been changed in the following writeup, which is one of many contributed by the counsellors who provide advice to LGBTQ+ Nigerians via the free Qtalk app:

Gay man struggles with feelings towards his straight friend

Anderson, a 20-year old Nigerian gay man, is struggling to hide his romantic affection towards his heterosexual friend. In his support request he wrote:

Tim is a good friend and I don’t want to spoil anything by letting him know that I am in love with him. The problem is that he is straight. Should I tell him or continue to keep it to myself? I am truly dying on the inside.

In a response to Anderson’s support request, the Qtalk counselor told him that it was completely normal to feel attracted to someone regardless of their sexual orientation and also that there was nothing wrong with letting people know how we feel about them. However, the counselor advised that this should be done with caution and consideration for safety given how people treat LGBTIQ+ people in the country.

The counselor said it was important to do this respectfully, bearing in mind that his friend may not feel the same way about him. It may seem easy to do this since they were already friends, but the counselor also added that it was important to make it clear to his friend that nothing will change if he isn’t interested in him in the same way. His friend’s reaction cannot be predicted and so, therefore, he should just keep an open mind.

This article is one of five that comprise Part 16 of the Qtalk series.

To download the Qtalk mobile app, click HERE.

To support the Qtalk project financially, click HERE.

Written by Colin Stewart

Colin Stewart is a 45-year journalism veteran living in Southern California. He is the president of the St. Paul’s Foundation for International Reconciliation, which supports LGBTQ+ rights advocacy journalism, Erasing 76 Crimes. Contact him at [email protected]

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