Qtalk has advice for gay man who loaned $1,461 to his lover

LGBTQ+ Nigerians benefit from the support provided by volunteer counsellors via the Qtalk app, which is supported by this site and by the St. Paul’s Foundation for International Reconciliation.

This Qtalk user’s name has been changed in the following writeup, which is one of many contributed by the counsellors who provide advice to LGBTQ+ Nigerians via the free Qtalk app:

Gay man needs help recovering money he loaned to his lover

Ebuka, a 26-year-old Nigerian gay man, is having a hard time getting back the money he loaned to his violent lover. In his support request, he wrote:

It’s been over six months now since I gave my boyfriend N600,000 naira [about US $1,461] to support his new business. He has refused to pay me back my money. Please, how can I collect it from him? This is not the first time that he has refused to pay back money that I have lent to him. The last time he punched me very hard in the face, called me names, and told me that I was heartless.

In a response to Ebuka’s support request, the counselor stated that it was very clear that his boyfriend is abusive. Being in a relationship with an abusive partner can be very hard and can take a toll on our mental health. The counselor told Ebuka that it was important he safeguards his mental health first and then seeks ways to recover his money from his boyfriend. The counselor suggested approaching him with someone he respected. However, it can be particularly challenging and almost impossible to get back the money if there’s no written agreement to show that his boyfriend took money from him to pay back later as the boyfriend could deny receiving the loan.

The counselor suggested that he involves a third party, perhaps a police officer or a lawyer, for further advice.

This article is one of five that comprise Part 16 of the Qtalk series.

To download the Qtalk mobile app, click HERE.

To support the Qtalk project financially, click HERE.

Written by Colin Stewart

Colin Stewart is a 45-year journalism veteran living in Southern California. He is the president of the St. Paul’s Foundation for International Reconciliation, which supports LGBTQ+ rights advocacy journalism, and editor / publisher of Erasing 76 Crimes. Contact him at [email protected]

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