Is my lover turned off by my fire-scarred face? Qtalk has advice

LGBTQ+ Nigerians benefit from the support provided by volunteer counselors via the Qtalk app, which is supported by this site and by the St. Paul’s Foundation for International Reconciliation.

The Qtalk user’s name has been changed in the following writeup, which is one of many contributed by the counselors who provide advice to LGBTQ+ Nigerians via the free Qtalk app:

Gay man worries his partner no longer loves him after fire disfigured him

Moses, a 23-year old Nigerian gay man, is in anguish because his lover no longer seems interested in him after he sustained a disfiguring injury in a fire.

In his support request he wrote:

“I think my partner doesn’t really love or care about me anymore. He is now spending more time with his friends and even sleeps out more. This is something he doesn’t [ordinarily] do. No more compliments like before since fire burnt and disfigured my face.

“I have asked him several times if he thinks we should split up but instead he gets angry and walks out of the conversation”.

In a response to Moses’s support request, the Qtalk counselor stated that he could be correct with his observations, but informed him that jumping to any conclusion is not a good idea. The counselor told him to find a way to approach his partner in a non-accusatory manner about how he feels about his supposed lack of affection.

The counselor also told him that his partner could be dealing with something other than what he thinks, which is absolutely why it was completely necessary for them to both talk about what is going on. The counselor explained, however, that a healthy conversation will only happen when the both of them are emotionally ready to talk.

Moses’s hasn’t yet been able to have that conversation with his partner, but is still in therapy and exploring more ways to make that conversation happen.

This article is one of five that comprise Part 15 of the Qtalk series.

To download the Qtalk mobile app, click HERE.

To support the Qtalk project financially, click HERE.

Written by Mike Daemon

Mike Daemon is the pseudonym of the founder and presenter of the No Strings podcasts, based in Port Harcourt, Nigeria, which provide a voice for the country’s LGBTIQ+ community. Through the No Strings website, he reports on issues affecting the lives of LGBTQ+ Nigerians. He launched and maintains the Qtalk app, which provides safe and private access to legal and psychosocial counseling for LGBTQ+ Nigerians. Contact him by email via info (at) nostringsng.com.

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