Gay man worries he will lose relocating lover: Qtalk’s advice

LGBTQ+ Nigerians benefit from the support provided by volunteer counselors via the Qtalk app. (Tenth in a series)

Names have been changed in all this site’s Qtalk writeups, which were contributed by the counselors who provide advice to LGBTQ+ Nigerians via the free Qtalk app:

Gay man worries he will lose lover who plans to leaves the country

Jake, a Nigerian gay man, says he is worried that he might lose his boyfriend who is already finalizing plans to leave the country. In a support request, he wrote:

“I am afraid that my boyfriend leaving the country will be the end of us even though he has promised me that we will reunite. A part of me feels that he is selfish after all the promises we made to each other and then now he just wants to leave me behind. How will I cope?”

In a response to his support request, his Qtalk counselor told him his feelings are valid and that it was OK for him to feel betrayed. However, the counselor also mentioned that people can be unpredictable. Love sometimes comes at a price, the counselor said, and one of the ways that we show that we actually love somebody is to set them free and to let them make their own choices and decisions.

Jake was also asked to be somewhat hopeful and maintain the friendship with his lover and see what the future holds for the two of them instead of dwelling only on the negative side of what might happen.

This article and several others like it make up Part 10 of the Qtalk series.

To support the Qtalk project financially, click HERE.

Written by Mike Daemon

Mike Daemon is the pseudonym of the founder and presenter of the No Strings podcasts, based in Port Harcourt, Nigeria, which provide a voice for the country’s LGBTIQ+ community. Through the No Strings website, he reports on issues affecting the lives of LGBTQ+ Nigerians. He launched and maintains the Qtalk app, which provides safe and private access to legal and psychosocial counseling for LGBTQ+ Nigerians. Contact him by email via info (at)

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