Nigerian exile’s advice to gay men: Show affection to any man you like

From the United Kingdom, Nigerian LGBTQ activist Bisi Alimi has advised gay men to express their feelings towards any man they like unless the man has told them he’s straight.

From the African Human Rights Media Network

Bisi Alimi (Photo courtesy of

Alimi offered the advice on Twitter:

Dear gay men, unless a man tells you he is straight, you have a right to express your feelings towards him.

Dear straight man, when a gay man says he has a feeling for you, be honourable and say “thank you but I am only into girls”.

Just same way lesbians have been nice to you.

His tweet generated controversy, mostly coming from Nigerian gay men who believe that such a proposition would be a death sentence in a homophobic country like Nigeria.

For example:

Dear gay men, in Nigeria this is a suicide mission. Just saying.


Please, not for those in African countries. Please disregard this. You will be beaten to stupor and they will arrest you join. Someone I know has  black eyes right now for asking a straight guy. Luckily he’s not behind bars. Use your head.

Equality Africa added:
Please be careful, beloveds. Be wise. This kind of safety and freedom may not be available to you in your current city or country, but you DO deserve to live with this kind of freedom, dignity, and joy.

Twitter deleted some comments that threatened violence. Responding to them, Alimi tweeted:

“I can see Nigerian homophobes are coming out of their base camp and camping on this tweet.

“I will tell you something, as a gay man (openly so), I have been approached by women many times asking me out. I do what a responsible gentleman will do; explain why I can’t with respect.”

In the past, Alimi has warned Nigerian gay men to delete Grindr app stating that it was becoming a tool for homophobic men to lure gay and bisexuals with the intention of attacking them.

In 2000, Alimi, 45, who now lives with his husband in the UK, came out as gay on live television during an interview with Funmi Iyanda, making him the first person to do so in Nigeria.

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Written by Colin Stewart

Colin Stewart is a 45-year journalism veteran living in Southern California. He is the president of the St. Paul’s Foundation for International Reconciliation, which supports LGBTQ+ rights advocacy journalism, and editor/publisher of Erasing 76 Crimes. Contact him at [email protected]

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