Qtalk: Bisexual Nigerian man threatened by partner’s family
Qtalk app provides support and guidance for LGBTQ Nigerians
LGBTQ+ Nigerians benefit from the support provided by volunteer counselors via the Qtalk app, which is supported by this site and by the St. Paul’s Foundation for International Reconciliation. Download Qtalk from Google Play or the Apple Store.
Moses, a 30-year-old bisexual man from Nigeria, turned to the Qtalk app for counseling while fleeing a dangerous situation. After his relationship with his long-term male partner was discovered by his partner’s family, Moses found himself in immediate danger. The family, outraged by the revelation of their son’s same-sex relationship, threatened both legal action and physical harm. With homosexuality criminalized in Nigeria, Moses faced the very real possibility of arrest and violence. Fearing for his safety, he fled his home and left behind his entire life, seeking refuge in anonymity.
Moses’s first message to the counselor was marked by fear and urgency. He wrote:
“They know about us, and his family is after me. I’m afraid they’ll have me arrested. I had no choice but to run. I don’t know where I’m safe anymore.”
During the session, Moses revealed the immense emotional burden he had been carrying. He described years of secrecy, the deep connection he had with his partner, and the overwhelming sense of betrayal after his partner’s family turned against him. His anxiety was compounded by the fact that he had nowhere to go, no one to trust, and no idea how to navigate a country that criminalizes his very existence. He expressed feelings of abandonment, not only from his partner’s family but from a society that refuses to accept him for who he is.
The counselor focused on grounding Moses in the present moment, offering strategies to manage his immediate sense of panic. They reassured him that while the situation was dangerous, his instinct to protect himself was valid and necessary. They worked together to identify safe spaces Moses might be able to temporarily hide and suggested LGBTQ+ support networks, both local and international, that could offer assistance.
At the session’s resolution, the counselor guided Moses on creating a safety plan, advising him on how to reach out to trusted organizations that provide shelter and legal support to LGBTQ+ individuals in countries where homosexuality is criminalized. The counselor also referred him to online legal resources, including international advocacy groups, that could help him understand his rights and explore potential asylum options in the future. Moses, though still fearful, expressed a sense of relief in having a concrete plan moving forward.
As the session came to a close, Moses reflected on his fears but also on his will to survive. He expressed gratitude to the counselor for offering hope and direction amidst his chaos:
“I felt trapped and alone, but now I see there are people who can help. I’ll keep fighting because I deserve to live free, without fear.”
The Qtalk session concluded with the counselor remaining available for future check-ins, as Moses prepared to take the next steps toward securing his safety.
To support the Qtalk project financially, click HERE.
