Qtalk: Should gay man trust partner who moved far away?
LGBTQ+ Nigerians benefit from the support provided by volunteer counsellors via the Qtalk app, which is supported by this site and by the St. Paul’s Foundation for International Reconciliation.
This Qtalk user’s name has been changed in the following writeup, which is one of many contributed by the counsellors who provide advice to LGBTQ+ Nigerians via the free Qtalk app:
Gay man worries about the distance from his partner and trust issues
Andrew, a gay man, says his long-distance relationship might be on the brink as he and his partner struggle to sustain trust and connection.
In his support request he wrote:
“It’s been about two months now since my boyfriend moved to another city. We seem to be arguing quite a lot and he has suggested a few times that we break up because of the distance. I don’t trust him anymore. I think he is just seeing someone else and doesn’t know how to tell me. God, it hurts so much.”
In a response to his request, the counselor stated that indeed distance actually does cause some people to feel disconnected from their romantic partners. However, the counselor suggested that constant communication also helps.
It can be hard if any of the partners do not have realistic plans to relocate. Not having this clearly planned out can lead to frustration for both partners and can fuel some type of bitterness and anger which can eventually take a toll on the relationship.
The counselor also suggested that speaking to his partner honestly about what he really needs would be helpful. If he has suggested strongly that they break up, then that should also be considered as no one wants to remain in a relationship that isn’t making them happy.
Andrew is still actively receiving support and exploring options and his next steps.
Qtalk is an LGBTQ+ mental health project in which 15 counselors provide advice and mental health services for more than 2,000 LGBTQ+ Nigerians via the specially developed app on Android devices. This article is one of five that comprise Part 17 of the Qtalk series, which sheds light on the challenges and opportunities facing LGBTQ+ Nigerians.
To download the Qtalk mobile app, click HERE.
To support the Qtalk project financially, click HERE.
